Captive

I’m bound together
Held apart
From the world.
Relationships and freedom
I yearn for
But they seem far reached.
Lines and rules
Control my actions.
They are surprised
When I speak.
But they don’t listen
To the emotion.

So I show it
Should I show it.
Not timid
No self pity.
I summit
To the process.
I bleed
Internally.
The hurt
Like glass
Close to breaking.

My heart hurts.
I’m not happy
But I’m greatful
Is that even possible.
I don’t know.
I don’t want to
Go down this hole.
Grabbing the sides
I’m keeping it together
Im bound together
By responsibility

Who am I kidding.
Is it too much?
Can I keep going?
Do I have it in me?
I don’t know anymore.
If I stop what would
I do instead?