Being me

My heart beats a little bit faster when I'm around humans.Don't know if that's a thing with othersBut I sure can't cope with that heartbeat.Cause when it starts The bodies start to smudge.Reality starts to look a little distant.Am I living or just experiencing a movie set.What is going on right now?Is this body even … Continue reading Being me

The Black hole

I cry for the child I never got to be.I cry for the way lust snatched innocence out of me.I cry for the nights I was tormented by the events of the past.I cry for the emotions I never could express.There was no time or space to express so I bottled it up. They say … Continue reading The Black hole

Dear Mr panic

I need to wash my hands clean from your filth.I can't seem to think when I'm in your energy.You make all my muscles halt.My lungs don't stretch. They freeze.My heart still beatsDespite your filthy energy.You can't stop me from staying alive.You can't stop me even when you stab me with your knife.As long as one … Continue reading Dear Mr panic

Cooperation

For the first time in foreverMy body is quiet.No tensionNo sparking of my bloodNo internal irritation.Just stillness.My body is finally at peace. And my mind?Well let's just sayIt's still under training.It's like two siblingsMy body and my mind.My mind to say one thingAnd cause my body to react.My soul is a helpless by stander not … Continue reading Cooperation

Who am i

Am I made up of my past,my present?Or am I a combination of both?Who am I?Where does my identity lie?In the past present or future?Who am I?Am I my past?Am I my present?Or is the present me the result of unresolved past traumatic events.What makes me different?Why did it affect me as so?Why did it … Continue reading Who am i

Unspoken thoughts

Many don't knowOf the load you carry.Your smile and humour tends To hide the pain you feel.How long will you hide the Pain?How long will you go on pretending Everything is fine When you're drowning in your own reality.You're scanning faces Hoping someone sees the Person held captive.They say our eyes are the keysTo the … Continue reading Unspoken thoughts

Energy vampires

You show up for everyoneBut never for yourself.And you wonder whyYou self hate has increasedDrastically.You give your allTo energy vampires.And you wonder whyYou're feels lessOf yourself and moreOf their negative energy. Be carefulOf who you showUp for.Be careful who youGive your time to.This isn't only about family.This is about your dayTo day life.Let the eyes … Continue reading Energy vampires

Not who I thought

I've got to check myselfCause I thought I knew myself.Through this journey,The hurt childSlowly became theDead child.What was is notWhat is. Your identity is notIn the past.Who am I lookingFor in the past?Just a few gapsThat had to be healed.Don't beat yourselfUp over it.You never knewAbout it. I thought I knew myself.Never thought my pastLead … Continue reading Not who I thought

Some days

Some days I liveTo see me throughYour eyes.Some days I lay inBed and pounderHow others see me.I want to see me throughThe eyes of others. I want to see meFrom a different perspective.Can I see me fromTheir eyes?Can I meet meThrough their memories?Is that allowed? You can meetYou just yetYou are not readyTo see you.You … Continue reading Some days